Lost Memory
by kurt couper
Summary: A new girl arrives at MH with a promise to herself: to become invisible. But her goal becomes unreachable when her nightmares that plague her every thought suddenly become true. What happens when she finds the truth out? ON HIATUS
1. chapter 1

_**Authors Note**: This is a short first chapter. It's just explaining the new character and her surroundings. This is my first ever Higher Ground fic. I own nothing, but the people you don't know. I hope you like it. I hope I don't abuse the story line. In my story no one really is a couple. David isn't here and that's about everything. _

_Enjoy. 33  
KC_

* * *

"I'm not going," said the stubborn girl whose voice was way too hoarse and shallow. She sat in a hard chair, her chest heaving up and down as if she ran a 5k race. Her face was flushed, also and the rims of her eyes were red. She didn't look happy to say the least. She almost looked scared.  
  
"Yes. Yes, you are. And that's final!" the mother said defeated but firm. She was exhausted. Five hours of screaming and yelling towards her daughter, always leaves her a little breathless. But this time was worse and she should have known to ease slowly into it. Well, since she was shipping off that daughter of hers to a school for adolescents. It was for her own good, she decided. And besides she needed some peace around here; that girl of hers' was a mess.  
  
The young girl looked at her mother and saw the look of conquer and remorse- remorse that she was her child. She nodded at the poor excuse of a human and went into her room. It didn't matter what her parent said anyway. She could just run away again. She opened her bedroom door and closed it but not after hearing the faint words: Don't Forget to Pack.  
  
She laughed as she remembered the last time she was supposed to go camping. She didn't want to go. No, it wasn't that she hated the outdoors, but because her mother was trying to quit cigarettes that month, so she was so jumpy and had an attitude problem. The girl who was then 13 didn't want to deal with that, so she just didn't pack a bag. Her mother too drunk to notice and her father just flew in from Reno, so he wasn't that awake. Needless to say, everyone was grateful that they hadn't had to go camping, but the two adults were pissed that they had to make that long 2-hour drive. They haven't been camping or done anything else as a "family" since and she was now almost 16.  
  
"Get a hold of yourself," she quietly said as she laid on her twin bed, her body thrown across it like some car accident victim. Her body was sore and her head hurt worse and she needed to think. Thinking of memories clouded that thinking time and this was a very important time.  
  
"I can't believe she's sending me to a screw up school!" she yelled for the millionth time as she packed another long sleeve shirt. Even though it was the middle of August and really hot in North Carolina, she figured some place out in the woods would be cold. That and it'd hide the scars. After remembering to pack the essentials like toothbrush and deodorant, she started to pack the more necessities like Advil, razors, her journal, and an old photo album. The Advil and razors are self-explanatory. The journal she has kept for over 3 years. And the photo album was the only thing that she had that wasn't touched by anyone anymore. She opened her faked journal that she kept, the one her mother reads and wrote:  
  
_Dear Diary,  
  
Right now I dislike my mother. I don't want to go to another school. I really don't, but I guess I put this all upon myself. I should have seen the error of my ways. But I guess for now I shall make the best of it. I hope to have fount at Mt. Horizon with all the new people I get to meet. Maybe I can even find a boyfriend. Or even a best friend. Let's hope so. I plan to make this into a positive experience like my old therapist told me to do. I bet I'll even thank my mother when I return. I'll get back when I get back. (Hopefully, it'll be soon)  
  
Love,  
Me  
_  
She rolled her eyes at her journal entry. Her mother found her real diary a couple months ago and screamed and shouted at everything that was written. She couldn't handle the truth, so she had to make a bogus one. And it was all-fake, well most of it. She did hate her mother and she did know it was her own fault, but she didn't understand what was that fault. She didn't understand why she had to go to this school. She wasn't a rape victim or been abused as a kid. Sure, she has dabbed into a little bit of cutting and liked the taste of alcohol. But that didn't make her a bad person. Did it? She wondered there at Mt. Horizon if the people are nice. But that didn't matter, did it? She didn't really want to talk. Other people had more important problems than her, even if they recognized it or not. And why waste their precious time with her, when they have people who witnessed deaths in front of their eyes and who messed with drugs and who got molested. She could get along fine by herself. It's what she had done all of her life.  
  
"Get your ass up!" her mother yelled as soon as morning broke. She yanked open the closed door. This was her damn daughter's last day at home, she was not only happy, but practically giddy. She wanted to bang the first man she saw after she got drunk that night. All she wanted was to get this child up to the mountains and come home to a bar.  
  
"I'm up!" she replied groggily, not getting much sleep that night with being so nervous with everything happening. All she had come up with after hours of thinking was "why me". Plus the nightmares she had every night didn't help.  
  
"Now!" her mother screamed which hardly was ever done since she always had a hangover.  
  
So, she got out of bed and slipped into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. No use going fancy now. She took the bag that she packed and checked to see if she hid her journal was in the direct bottom of the bag. It's where she "installed" a secret compartment place about three years ago. Actually, Darcy, the druggie, did it for her, but she knew it was safe and secret. No one has found Darcy's stash yet and she's 24 and has been doing drugs since she was 13. She put on some flip-flops, put her hair in a pony-tail and took three Advil. It was going to be a very, very long trip.


	2. chapter 2

_I own nothing, but you guys knew that. I do own everybody that you don't know. I hope everyone is liking this so far. I'm not too infatuated with it, but my friends like it. So what the hell. Everything will becoming in place soon. These first few chapters are just getting aquainted with the characters. I do know some things I right really wouldn't happen, but oh well. It's my world. Sorry this is sort of long and the ending sucks._

_33  
KC_

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"Peter!" yelled a disgruntled Sophie. She had two calls on hold, but she had just got the new faxes that he wanted.  
  
"Come in," he said, as he didn't look up from a file that was in front of him.  
  
"Here are those faxes," she threw them on the desk, which caused him to look up. He smiled gratefully.  
  
"Thanks Soph."  
  
"No problem, Captain. Oh Captain." She walked at of the door and he rolled his eyes at the nickname some of his students called him. He reclined in his seat. His students. He couldn't get over that just ten years ago he was just another ODed, drugged up loser washed up on the streets and would do anything for another hit of heroine. But now he was taking care of over 100 kids, a close 10 almost seeming like his own. He shook his head, mentally slapping himself from getting off topic. He had to study up on the new arrival that was coming soon.  
  
He looked at the new papers Sophie had just handed him and groaned. He couldn't figure out why this girl was even coming to Mt. Horizon. She had no records of any theft, drug possessions, suspensions, or anything else that was considered "normal" at Mt. Horizon's School for Rebellious Youth school. There was two supposed runaway cases, but were later dropped. There were no notes or comments at all. Peter was just stunned. The girl was coming in about an hour and he didn't have anything on her. He doubted that he'd get anything out of her, since none really talked. Pushing her file aside, he decided to check in on his 'Cliff hangers' group.  
  
"Hey Peter," Scott said in his northern accent. It sounded like a heavy New York or even New Jersey accent, but it was hard to say.   
"Hey Scott." He saw Shelby who was talking to Daisy.   
"Hey Shel, Daisy," he greeted. They acknowledge him with their own hellos, but went back to talking. He smiled at the two. Shelby, being the hostile girl she was, was actually starting to calm down somewhat. "Scott, round up all the 'cliffhangers'. We're having someone new join our group today, and I want to get everyone prepared." He mumbled something, but got off the couch and rounded up the group. Peter went off to go get Sophie.  
  
"So what's this 'bout, Peter?" Ezra asked, wondering why the big meeting was called.  
"Yea, Captain, what's the deal?" Auggie asked his accent coming through.   
"Did we do something bad?" Jules asked, her voice hushed a little.  
"No, God no. Actually, it's something good. We have a new student arriving with us today." He heard groans all around and smirked. He really did love these kids.   
"That's good how?" Shelby asked her sarcastic-but-true way.  
"Shelby," Sophie warned with a look. The blonde 16 year old rolled her eyes.   
"Anyway, the girl will be arriving soon, but I just wanted to let you know. And, tell you who her show-around-buddy will be." Jules got excited, because that's her nature, and some of the guys were a little interested, too. This was a girl coming after all.  
"Who's gonna show the newbie 'round?" asked Auggie.  
"I'm not sure yet, we'll wait until she arrives. I want the girls to go and clean out their room." He stopped them before they opened their mouths.   
"I know you cleaned it Sunday, but, please, just clean it up a little. I went in there this morning and I was pretty surprised."   
"Can we leave?" Shelby asked, her voice a little cold, but glad she could get out of group.  
"Yes, you can."

Everyone was relieved when a car came pulling into the driveway. They were in the middle of a group session and some tension was rising a bit.  
  
A black BMW parked into the gravel and a middle-aged woman in dark glasses stepped out. She wore a black pant suit and looked very professional, while the girl who still sat, sleeping, in the car, looked not very well put together. They basically clashed.   
"Hello. I'm Mrs. –I mean Ms. Claudia Renolds," the woman said extending her hand out towards Peters; he shook it forcefully.   
"Nice to meet you, Ms. Renolds. I'm Peter Scarbrow, but you can just call me Peter." She smiled a flirtatious smile.  
"Nice to meet you too," her southern accent was on full –fake –blast. She walked over to the passenger side and knocked on the window loudly. Then she went into the trunk and got out the girls' bags. The girl jumped and looked around franticly, but calmed down a bit to find that they were at the destination. She rubbed her eyes, embarrassed to find everyone staring at her. She wished she could hit her stupid mother; she probably wanted to humiliate her. She got out of the car and awkwardly stood with her head looking straight ahead, she never was one to look down to the grown. She sort of stood on the sides of her feet, rolling them around in the gravel as Peter and her mother talked.

"Love you baby. Kiss, kiss," her mother said before heading off into the car.  
"Mom, will you call Adam and tell him where I am?" the girl pleaded as the mother closed the car door.  
"Sure. Whatever. Kisses." She waved her hand outside the window and took off fast. She chuckled a nervous chuckle.   
"Mom wants to get home early," she said to herself more than to the others. She dropped her bags and extended her hand.   
"Hello. I'm Taylor Mead."   
"I'm, um, Peter," he said confused. He never met anyone like this before. Most everyone ran or called him names or did something ruthless. No kid _ever _shook his hand.  
  
"Auggie," he called, bringing a bright-eyed Latino boy from the group. He looked at Taylor with interest. She was really pretty, beautiful even. She looked skinny, but not bulimic skinny. She had very blond hair that looked natural, but was so hard to tell these days, her eyes were green and she had tan skin. She also had a slight southern accent that was driving him crazy.  
"Yea Peter?"  
"Will you take Taylor here and show her around campus."   
"Sure."  
"And while you're doing that, we're going to search through your bags." He smiled and she tried to return one but only gave a broken one.   
"That okay?" He asked wanting to get something out of this girl. Yelling, screaming, crying, tears, smiling. He just wanted emotions.   
"Yes sir. It's fine." She walked away behind Auggie, leaving, again, a shocked Peter. He's never been called a sir before in his life.  
  
He showed her around the outdoor area.   
"There isn't any fences around here?" she asked confusedly. Well, she stated it but it was in the form of a question.   
"Yea, I bet you were sleeping, but there isn't any towns around here for miles. I think it's something like 30 miles. All around here is woods and mountains and rivers and more woods. There really isn't no need for any fences. Most kids who run get caught. Peter's damn fast and he knows this area." He paused and continued. "Why you getting the idea of running?"   
"No," she shook her head.   
Well, maybe. I don't know yet." She stopped walking and he stopped walking too.   
"Do you...do you like it here?"   
"Yea, I do. Why?"  
"I don't know." She quickly returned to walking again. And wondered why she was talking so much. This was everything she was trying to stay away from, but she liked Auggie. She almost, God Forbid, trusted him. She needed to stay far away from him and not get so close. She wasn't suppose to start liking these people. Taylor's plan was to fade away.  
  
"So, where you from?" he asked as he led the young girl towards the kitchen area.   
"The States." He urged her to go on. "North Carolina." She smiled.   
"I'm from this really small, end of the world town that everyone knew everybody. The beach was so close that you could smell it. Everybody surfed or dirt biked or four-wheeled and fished. And everyone always went to the beach or to the forest; depending on what group you went with and just hung out. You'd just spend hours doing nothing. It was just awesome" She finished quickly not sure why she said all those things. She really had to watch her mouth.   
"Sorry," she quietly said.   
"No, it's okay. Wow. That-that sounds really nice, yo." He smiled as he saw the dreamy look on her face. "Yea it was and I guess I kind of miss it. What about you?"  
"Oh you know, places," he said sadly. She could tell he missed it more than her. She always had a thing for ready emotions and being able to feel them, even if she never went through the same things that person had. She shook off the feeling of wanting to tell him comforting thoughts. Stupid girl.  
  
"So this is the cafeteria," she announced while noticing some tables and chairs. "The food any good?" "Some of the stuff is," Auggie laughed. He couldn't get enough of this girl. She kept him guessing. One time he thought she was in for drugs, and then he thought she could be one of those paranoid girls, then he thought she could be an alcoholic, but nothing was giving him any clues. She seemed so normal; not like any of the people at Horizon. But when she was normal, it was almost as if she was trying to be normal, like it was hard for her. He was just way too confused. What was it about this girl? He had no clue.  
  
"Yo meat," he said as he made his way to a dirty blonde hair boy that was outside with the group earlier. He motioned a slow Taylor to follow behind him.  
"Hey Aug." Scott rolled his eyes. Auggie was always making up weird nicknames for everyone.   
"This is Taylor," he arched his head back to point out the girl. Scott nodded.   
"Yea, you're the newbie everybody's been questioning. You had everyone surprised. I think Peter's still in shock."   
"Huh?" she said quietly. Scott was cute and seemed really nice, but he almost looked intimidating, like his eyes could burn right through you.  
"No one has ever not tried to run, or spit on him, or like called him a bastard or whatever. He was stunned. And no body's ever called him sir before." He smiled a friendly smile before saying, "He's still trying to figure you out."   
"We're all trying to figure you out, yo," Augusto said, laughing right along with Scott, which left Taylor feeling hurt and confused. She looked to the side trying to think but then looked back up and laughed. She put on another layer.  
To bad you never will," she said in a seductive hushed-voice and walked away shaking her ass in the process.  
"I think I'd like to try," Auggie said as he watched her leave. He turned his head sideways as he stared at her ass.   
"Definitely." Scott slapped his chest and they both laughed. Then Auggie said he'd see him later, and went to find his first week buddy.  
  
Taylor was walking quietly outside. She didn't want to be inside anymore. She hated the inside, it confined her more then she did herself. She was one of those people who hated small places –claustrophobic. She took off her flip-flops and walked on the dock like she was back at home. She pictured the rusted, raised nails that stubbed her feet and the weird texture that came from the mixture of salt and pressure treated wood. She closed her eyes and thought about the water that was hot from the sun, no matter what time of the year. And she thought about how she would spend hours just staring at the ocean and thinking that you could get lost in something so big. How you could just disappear so easily and they could never ever find you. She smiled to herself as she sat down on the dock and stuck her bare feet into the cold, chilly water. It didn't even faze her.

"What's up, newbie?" Auggie said as he approached. He sat down beside her and put his hand in the water. "Damn, Taylor, this water is really cold."  
"It's not that cold," she said softly.   
"Yea it is. Anyway. Look, I've got to get you to over to Peter's office. Okay?" He motioned her to get up and she did. Her foot wasn't cold at all because that's how she felt. Numb.   
"Why? What does Mr. Scarbrow want?" Auggie looked at her funny before he started busting out laughing. "What?" she asked annoyed and sort of self-conscious.   
"It's just Peter. No Mr and no Scarbrow. We're not formal here. Jeez, anyway. He has to go over the rules with you. Then he'll probably talk to you about why you're here and then a physical. Then we'll have group." She stayed silent, not wanting to get laughed at again.


	3. chapter 3

_Sorry for such a long time for an update. I haven't really been inspired for anything lately. God, just seeing this story makes me angry. _

_I'm sorry for all of the dialogue. Hopefully the chapters to come will be filled with less talking and more…other things. _

_And I hope I portrayed all the characters correctly. I haven't seen Higher Ground in forever and all the people are blurring together. If I get something wrong, flame me and hopefully I'll fix it. _

_Thanks._

_By the way, I don't own anything. Blah Blah Blah. _

_Hope you enjoy._

_

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_

She knocked on the door and he could barely hear it.  
"Come in!" he yelled, saying as nice as he could. He smiled as he saw Taylor come in the door.  
"Take a seat, Taylor." She sat down quietly and put her feet under her, "Indian style". Peter stared at the girl, while she just looked off into space. The girl didn't want to look at the man; he reminded her of something that she couldn't put a finger on. She didn't like it.  
"I assume Auggie showed you around?" She nodded and started to chew on the edge of her thumbnail.  
"Did you enjoy the campus?" She nodded again. A silence broke out.

"Did he inform you of the rules?" She shook her head.  
"Well, the rules here are very simple. There's no drugs, sex, violence, or inappropriate touching. This is a safe place. A place where you can go to take a break from all that crap that's going on outside in your life. Anything you say to me or one of the other counselors stays betweens us unless you give us permission to tell it to the others. The only exception is if I suspect violence towards others or something that is self-destructive, then I am bound by law to notify outside authorities. Any questions?"

"No sir," she said flatly.  
"You don't have to call me sir," he said awkwardly. He wanted to get something out of this girl and he hadn't been doing a good job so far.  
"Why don't you go get your physical now and then we'll go to group. Then later after group we'll talk, okay?" She nodded and followed Peter into the infirmary.

"I'll leave you here. When you get done with the physical just come back over to my office. Then you'll get to meet the rest of the Cliffhangers?" He sounded so happy, like it was his life. But it was his life. But why would someone want to take care of fucked up teenagers was beyond her knowledge. She frowned as she changed into the hospital-looking gown. She hated doctors.

Peter was looking through his files again trying to find something about Taylor. Just one little thing that could give him a clue. This girl was almost as worse as Shelby, but without the aggression and the running. He was still expecting her to run, he always had that in the back of his mind. There wasn't a phone call that he didn't hold his breath for. But Taylor seemed different. It was almost as if he could tell by looking in her eyes that she was planning something. He could see the calculative glare, but he had a trusting, and probably ignorant, feeling that she wouldn't do anything. Now, anyway. He looked through her file again and found nothing he could go on. He sighed and put his head in his hands.  
"Just one time I'd like my job to be easy," he said quietly to himself and maybe hinting to God.

A knock came on the door.  
"Come in," Peter shouted through the thick wood. In came a Doctor George Ethers.  
"Hey George," he greeted somberly. Normally when the doctor came to you, then something was wrong, or else they would just throw the file at you.  
"Hey Peter. Taylor's outside, but I want to talk to you about her first." Inside, Peter flinched, but he shook his head.  
"Sure, what is it?"  
"Well, the good things are there were no drugs in her blood system. She was clean. She did have a lot of scars on her body though."  
"You think she's a cutter?" Taylor didn't look that type. Then he thought about it. Was there even a type?  
"I don't know. These cuts didn't look like the ones Juliett did. She had them on her legs, back, and arms. They were long though. And looked rough, not clean cut. She also had this weird rash, if you will, around her wrists. The skin looked as if it was pulled the other way." He pushed his glasses farther back unto his noses. "She also has very high blood pressure. For a teenager her size, normal would be around 118 over 60 but hers was 142 over 85. She told me she was really nervous and that high blood pressure ran in her family. But that's not even the worse part. When I checked her blood, it was really thin. And I did not get that much because she looked like she was going to pass out. I believe she maybe anemic. She also said her father had a hard time getting into the army because he had thin blood," Dr. Ethers said.  
"What does it mean if she has both high blood pressure and is anemic?" Peter asked wondering if she needed to be on any medications. Even though they weren't aloud at Mount Horizon, those were serious problems.

"Well, you just have to watch out for her. You probably want to take it slow with her. She's use to hot weather, so now we have to get her use to cold weather. She shouldn't go on large hikes that go over extended amounts of days and she should probably eat more than what she's eating now. She weighs about a hundred and five pounds and that's not helping her problems either. I don't think medicine will help her, so just keep an eye out for her." He smiled a crooked smile.  
"Wow. Um, thank you George. I will look out for her. Thanks for telling me."

After the doctor left, Peter gathered all of his papers that were thrown around the desk and put them into a nice, straight pile. He then opened his office door to a very anxious Taylor.  
"Hey Taylor," he said; he smiled. She crooked her head, very innocently and wondered if he ever stopped smiling.  
"Hi." Her hands were underneath her thighs and she was swinging her feet back and forth. She was biting the edge of her lip and Peter never thought he saw anything look so childlike. She looked so young sitting there.  
"Ready for group?" he asked, resisting the urge to grab her hand and hold it on the way to the others.  
"What is group anyway?" Her voice was quiet and flat.  
"You'll find out."

"Hey Peter!" Kat called out from the couch. Everyone, including Sophie, turned around and smiled when they saw him with the newbie.  
"Hey guys." He paused and pushed Taylor a little bit in front of him. "Everyone this is Taylor."

He sat down beside Sophie and Taylor sat on the floor beside the couch. She slowly pulled her knees to her chest, but not before she winced. No one noticed.  
"Anyone want to explain group for Taylor's sake?" Juliette raised her hand.  
"Go ahead Jules."  
"Well, see, everyday we come together, like anyplace, and we describe what we're feeling and why. It helps us get our feelings out and things," said the way too overly zealous and bubbly girl. She made Taylor want to jump right out of her skin.  
"Okay. Now that that has been taken care of, why don't we do a quick group session? Everyone say you're name, why you're here and how you feel." He tossed a staff looking thing towards an African girl.  
"I'm Kat. I'm here for not being able to save my sister and not being the right color for my parents. I feel anxious." She passed it off to the bubbly, prom queen.  
"Hi. I'm Juliette Waybourne. I'm here for cutting myself and not being perfect. And I feel happy." She threw it to someone.  
"I'm Ezra. I'm here because I wanted to be a pharmacist. I feel tired." He handed it to Agguie who smiled.  
"You already know me. I'm here for being in a gang and getting into drugs from my bro. It was either Juvie or here. Oh, and I feel good." He smiled at Taylor who just looked at him. He passed his stick around.  
"I'm Scott, but you knew that. I'm here because I got into drugs and ran away from home a lot. And I feel fine, I guess." He passed it on."  
"I'm Shelby Merrick. I'm here because I ran away from home and things. I feel okay."  
"Hi. I'm Daisy Lipenowski and I hit my dearest father over the head with a golf club. I feel peculiar." She passed it to Taylor.  
"I'm Taylor and I don't know why I'm here. I feel…um, good." She lied about feeling good. In truth, she felt terrible. Confused. And lost. She was really lost. But you can't build a wall without a good foundation and this was hers.

Everyone stared at her for a while. She just locked her hands underneath her bent knees, and stared off in front of her. She was thinking of being outside in the woods.  
"What do you mean you don't know why you're here?" Shelby asked sort of dumbfounded. Surly this newbie wasn't that stupid.  
"I just don't," she said, her voice low and quiet. She thought about how it felt with the sun all around you and laying down in the forest floor.  
"Okay. Why don't we call this a night. You have a few hours before lights out, so I suggest everyone doing their homework. Taylor, I want you to come with me." Everyone went their separate ways, but Peter and Taylor.

"Let's go in my office and talk okay?" His voice sounded hard, but gentle at the same time. She was confused. Did she do something wrong?

As she sat across from Peter, she really felt uncomfortable. She would admit it: Peter was hot. God damn her to hell, but she always found older men attractive. Maybe that's why she felt so weird. She didn't know, but she really didn't feel right being stuck in a room with him.  
"Did you like group?" he asked trying to make small talk. She shook her head.  
"It normally isn't as juvenile," he defended. She shook her head, understanding.  
"The um, the doctor told me some interesting things today." This caught her attention. She tried not to look too nervous. And scared.  
"Yes?" Her voice was cool, calm, collected. She could have fooled anyone.  
"He believes you are anemic and have high blood pressure." She nodded. She knew a little why she was anemic and why she had high blood pressure. Cutting and being extremely, utterly, insanely nervous. All she could think of the whole time was was he going to find out? She still doesn't even know.  
"He also said that you're weight was too low and that wasn't helping your medical problems." If Taylor could have inwardly thrown up, she would have. Just because she thought she wasn't the prettiest and skinniest didn't mean she had an eating disorder. Skipping a few meals here and then and doing a power heavy exercise day didn't mean she was weight crazy. Or crazy at all. Or had an eating disorder. Nope, not at all.

"He also said that he saw some scars on your body." She tried not to panic, really she did. But her body went tight and she took her nails to her skin, trying to get some pressure off.  
"Really? Where?" she asked trying to keep her voice flat and uninterested. It sort of worked.  
"On your back and legs and arms." She relaxed. She didn't cut there.  
"So?" she asked in her very innocent voice.  
"I'd like to see them," he said. Her eyes bugged out but decided not to make a big deal. Big deals meant that you were hiding something.

She stood up and pulled her shirt off over her head. She kept her arms in the sleeves and folded them around her bra. She felt really uncomfortable. But, hell, these weren't self-inflicted. She didn't even cut that much, anyhow. The cuts that the doctor and Peter were talking about were from the forest, from when she was out four-wheeling with just a tank top and shorts on.

He stared at her back. He was expecting angry, red, open wounds not fairly healed scars. They were long, too and rough. These couldn't possible be done by Taylor.  
"Can I put my shirt back on?" she asked. She was irritated and was embarrassed and not to mention uncomfortable.  
"Yes, of course." He thought for a minute. "Can I see the ones on your legs and arms?" She rolled her eyes and showed him. Of course it wasn't as bad. As long as she didn't take off her pants because then he would know and she'd be even more humiliated.  
"What are these from?" he asked totally baffled. None of them looked like self-mutilation and he had been thinking a long time. The scars were really wide across and pale looking.  
"They are from my four-wheeler." He got a confused look on his face.  
"What?"  
"You know…a four-wheeler, an atv, a quad. A dirt bike, but with four wheels." Her accent was really coming out from this one.  
"I know what one is, Taylor." His face looked disgusted. "I was wondering how you would have gotten them from that."  
"Well, the one on my back is from when I got flown from my four-wheeler. I landed on my back and split it open. The ones on my legs are just from when I didn't wear pants in the woods. Devils whips and branches would just, you know, gnaw at my skin and the same with my arms. But those were easier to get with. But the big scar that's on the elbow, that's from when I was swimming in the ocean and this drunken guy was casting off his fishing rod. His hook got caught in my skin and when I tried to let it loose, I accidentally tugged on his string signaling that he had a fish, so he reeled in his line. So the hook ripped open the skin there. It's still a bit tender. It only happened about six months ago, I think." He looked astonished. Either because she said so many words or because of all the stories.

"Wow," he said. This girl had been through some pain, it seemed. She also sounded really rough as if it didn't faze her. He knew from experience that being thrown off anything hurt. He's never had his back ripped open before though. Or had his arm tore up from a hook. She did seem to have a passion for four-wheeling.  
"Sounds like you like to atv." She stared at him and tried not to say anything snotty. It was hard though.  
"It's my life." He seemed impressed. She seemed tired. She yawned.  
"Okay. We can talk later. There is still an hour and a half before lights out. Your bags are in your rooms." She nodded and walked to the door.

"Hey Peter?" she called from the door.  
"Yea?"  
"Are students aloud to make phone calls?" Taylor asks.  
"Not normally, except for parents. Why?"  
"Well I sort of wanted to tell my best friend why I wouldn't be there for a while." He smiled.  
"I swear I won't be long and you can listen to the whole conversation." He thought it over, but decided that she hadn't run away. Hadn't caused any troubled and even took her shirt off just for him. So, yea, he'd let it slide a little.  
"Yea, Taylor. Here." He pushed the phone towards her and she smiled.

She rung the familiar number and sat down on the edge of his desk, forgetting where she was for a second.  
_"Hello,"_ came through the receiver.  
"He-hey Mr. Garner." Her voice was shaky. Peter noticed. He wondered why.  
"I'm, um, fine. You?" She hated talking to Shane's father. Ever since all of the dreams she's had of him, she got the creeps around him.  
"Can I please talk to Shane? Thanks." She waited and then noticed she was sitting on his desk.  
"Sorry," she said and winced. She then sat on a chair.  
_"Yo?"_ Shane answered the phone and Taylor's smile was brought back.  
"Hey stud muffin you," she replied in a very breathy voice.  
_"Tay!? Is that you?"_ his deep, sexy voice got excited.  
"Yea it's me."  
_"Why don't you get your ass down here and we'll hang." _  
"I can't. That's why I've called you."  
_"God, Tay, what did you do now!"_  
"I haven't done anything, I swear to fucking god." She mentally slapped herself as she looked over at Peter. His whole look said "You better watch your language", so she did.  
_"Okay then, where are you?"_  
"In Canada."  
_"You fuckin serious?"_  
"Serious. Look, I don't have a long time."  
_"Oh, okay, shoot."_  
"Well, I'm in Canada at this school for rebellious teens. Mom sent me up here."  
_"That sucks ass, man."_  
"Yea it does. I just wanted to say that I don't know when I'll get home, that I'll write and I know that you'll write too because I'm the one who taught you-"  
_"Ha fucking ha."_  
"Anyway, just take care of yourself, Shane. I know how you get without me there. Will you take care of yourself?"  
_"Of course and don't worry. I will write you. I'll be fine and I might even come see you. How's that?"_  
"God, Shane, that sounds like heaven. I have to go." She paused and said softly, "I love you."  
_"I love you too, babe. Now don't go busting anybody's balls but mine, okay?"_  
"Ha. Okay. C-ya Shane." She hung up and slowly pushed the phone next to Peter.

"Thanks," she said quietly. This girl changed from hot to cold so quickly. It was weird. It kept Peter guessing.  
"No problem."  
"Sorry about the language," she hushed her voice. She didn't mean to say it.  
"We don't tolerate language like that around here, but trust me, I've heard it before," he stated. She nodded quickly and headed for the door.

"Goodnight Taylor," he murmed.  
"Yea, g'night. And thanks, Peter." She left the room swiftly and went on towards her bunks. Peter just shook his head.

Shelby was a hard girl to crack, but it almost looked as if Taylor was going to be harder. All he had to do was look into her eyes and he could almost see her haunts, her demons. But it didn't look like it really fazed her and no one can be that good of an actor. Maybe she was happy and maybe her mom did just want to drop her off. But that wouldn't describe the pain that she was concealing. He could tell she acted different around adults, the phone call being proof of that. She seemed so uncomfortable talking on the phone, until she talked to her friend. Then there were her whole medical problems. It was dangerous to have someone who could pass out at any moment on a hike. And all those scars and accidents, she was almost like a lawsuit waiting to happen. That meaning if her mother actually would care. He doubted it.

He didn't get many answers from her, but then again it was only her first day.

"Light's out girls," Sophie stated after she knocked and opened the door.  
"Okay," said Jules.  
"Goodnight everyone."

Taylor slowly fell into a light sleep. She never had a good night of rest. Nightmares always invaded her dreams. She didn't even know what provoked them, but it was probably her fault. She did, in fact, find Shane's father hot –in a dad I'd like to fuck sort of way. That's probably why her dreams started just because she found one man cute. She hoped she didn't have any dreams of Peter. That would be disturbing.

* * *

Again I'm really sorry for all the disguisting dialogue. It's really tearing me up inside. 

Thanks for all the lovely reviews by the way.


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